


Silly Girl

by CavalierQueen



Category: Justified
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-05
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavalierQueen/pseuds/CavalierQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raylan is back in KY against his wishes. He wants to leave as soon as he can, but maybe there is something worth staying for. Story is complete!<br/>Justified - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,707 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 4-3-10 - Published: 4-1-10 - Raylan G. - Complete</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silly Girl

Title: **Silly Girl**  
Category: TV Shows » Justified  
Author: CavalierQueen  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Published: 04-01-10, Updated: 04-03-10  
Chapters: 7, Words: 17,707

  


* * *

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

* * *

A/N: Justified just started on FX and I was thrilled to see more of Timothy Olyphant. I have thought he was hot since I saw Hitman a while ago (see my Hitman story under Games/Hitman) so it only seemed natural to write a little story about his character Raylan Givens. We don't know much about him yet since there has only been three episodes, but this little diddy just didn't leave my mind so here it is.

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl…**

Chapter 1

I love this time of night. I was showered and relaxed in my oversized Dallas Cowboys jersey. The kids are in bed, the staff is tucked away in their various quarters, and silence descends on the farm. Well, relative silence. I can still hear the occasional whinny of one of the horses settling into sleep, the soft hooting of the owls that live in the trees in and surrounding us, the snores of the puppies at my feet. The silence is so deep I can even hear the crackle of paper wrapped around my clove cigarette as it burns and the clink of the ice melting in my glass of Jim Beam's _Baker_. Some nights the grounds lit by the plethora of stars we could see being so far out from any other light or the moon that cast a white glow over the trees, pool, and barns. Tonight, that light was obstructed by the clouds that dropped the gentle rain settling over the grounds. And that was good too.

Even as I listened, and smoked, and drank I knew I was waiting for something. Before I never waited; I never hoped or expected, but now, foolishly I waited. I couldn't even fool myself that I wasn't waiting, because I was. My cell phone lay quiet by my side. I never used my cell phone. Maybe five people in the world had the number and knew not to call it unless I didn't answer my house phone first. But here it was, mocking me in its own silence.

* * *

I met U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens a month ago. That long, tall drink of water climbed out of his black government issue suburban, cowboy hat and boots and my first thought was "Wow!" My next thought was "Shit! The Marshal's are here. Clive's escaped or something." My two kids developed an instant curiosity about the tall man in the big black car. My son Michael, because he carried a gun and had a "cool" badge I was to learn later. I suppose all little boys, even big boys, are kinda fascinated by the guns and fancy badges with stars on it, even four year olds. And Natalie, my two and a half year old daughter was even worse. She didn't even pretend to be shy, which she isn't, but she sometimes uses as a 'strategy' if she knew what one was. She went right up to him from the porch where we had been having our afternoon snack after swimming and stood there with her little hands crossed in one of those little girl cutsey-pie sort of ways, her curling hair falling to the side as she tilted her head up at him and smiled, a teasing, seductive sort of smile, but that had to be my imagination. She was only a baby afterall!

I could tell he wasn't a man who had been around many children, and mine were more talkative and eager than many. We didn't get too much company out this way, so other than the usual suspects they were used to, this man in the worn cowboy hat and boots, wearing a necktie with a dark denim shirt really was a curiosity. But, he took all the questions and attention in stride and even got down to the kids' level to talk to them and introduce himself. Michael apparently asked to see his badge and the man kindly let him have it to look at. He asked them both their names and asked if they could take him to see their mom. Michael and Nat led the way to the porch steps where I stood leaning against one of the columns, watching the scene play out. I laughed slightly as the two kids never seemed to take a breath and the man seemed to just absorb it all in due course.

I found myself standing in front of the most attractive man I might have ever met. His beard was slightly grizzled looking and his eyes were piercingly green. He was tan and clearly well built from the fit of his jeans and shirt, even with the holster and jacket. I remember thinking at the time that he must be warm under all that extra clothing. It was late spring in Kentucky afterall.

He put his hand out to introduce himself to me, "I'm U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, m'am. I'm lookin' for Mrs. Clive Willis?" His voice was gravelly, deep, and yet soft.

"Well, I never went by that name but I 'spose I would be her. My name is Gracie Mae Hamilton." I shook his hand and kept my eyes locked with his. I swear my heart skipped a beat when he gave me a soft smile. "Marshal Givens, you have me at a disadvantage I'm afraid. We've been in the pool all day as you can probably tell. I wasn't expecting visitors," I said as I foolishly tried to do something with my wet hair. And it didn't help that I was exposed so much in my bikini top, sarong, and bare feet.

I guess he must have sensed my discomfort. "Ms. Hamilton, I'm sorry I came unannounced like this. If you want, you can go up and change if you'd feel better. I should have called first. I just didn't think." He seemed a little embarrassed as well. That made me think 'nice guy.'

I am beautiful. I know it but I don't ever flaunt it or use it. I was raised to be gracious to everyone, modest in dress and language, and reserved about most everything else. And here I stood, half-naked in front of a very attractive fully clothed man. To say I was uncomfortable was an understatement.

I nodded at his apology, "Well then Marshal, if you will excuse me I'll just run up and change and then you can deliver what I am sure is very bad news. A personal call from the Marshal service doesn't happen every day, and since I'm pretty certain I haven't broken any laws and am not on your 15 Most Wanted List, I'm guessing it has to do with Clive."

I hadn't completely forgotten my manners and suggested he sit at the table under the ceiling fan and I poured him some iced tea. Then I brought the kids inside with me while he waited outside.

When I returned 15 minutes later, showered and changed into a light sundress, he had his elbows leaning on the porch railing watching the horses being put through their moves in the corral a bit away from the house. I noticed he had taken his jacket and hat off and rolled up his sleeves. His forearms were tanned and muscular, his hair dark and careless. I just couldn't help noticing.

I refilled my tea glass and walked bare foot over to where he stood. "That colt you're watching will be a Derby winner in a few years. His name is Russian Roulette, and he comes from two previous Derby winners who have multiple winners on both of their sides."

"Have you bred many winners here at Ironworks?" He asked as he turned to look at me. I felt myself flush as he looked me up and down. His expression remained neutral but I could still see the heat in his eyes. _Whoa, silly girl, you are starting to read way too much into this guy. You don't know him and probably won't want to._

I leaned on the railing next to him and watched the horse making his tracks. I was silent for a moment before answering. For some reason, standing next to him in his big quiet way, I didn't feel an urgency to talk. "In the past 100 years or so, we've had our share of Derby and Triple-Crown winners."

He kept watching the horse as he slowly nodded his head. He remained quiet and I did as well. The silence between us was interrupted by two running and growling puppies tumbling over each other to reach us. I turned and watched them run and fall over themselves in that clumsy way puppies do. As they approached I bent down to the ground and they both leaped into my arms, squirming and licking. I stood and laughingly faced Raylan. "I'd like you to meet my other two children, Ice and Tea." He laughed as he took the red Cavalier King Charles spaniel into his arms.

"This one must be Tea."

"Yep, and this one is Ice. They are little barrels of energy, but fortunately my kids keep them pretty busy and they all tire each other out."

He smiled as he put Tea on the ground. I thought he did so a little regretfully. He walked back to the table and helped himself to more iced tea and turned to face me. "Unfortunately, this isn't a social call, although this has been nice." I nodded in agreement and rejoined him at the table. "Your ex-husband escaped from prison early this morning. He killed a guard and he is armed. We need to put you and your family into protection until we apprehend him."

I felt myself pale as he said that Clive had escaped. When I met Clive, he was a doctor with a good reputation. Who knew that under that good looking, good 'ol boy exterior lurked the heart of a sociopath? Clive had eventually been charged, tried, and convicted of drug trafficking, possession, conspiracy to commit murder, and had committed a few crimes he hadn't been charged with. What I had once seen as love for me had actually turned out to be obsession, full-blown, terrifying, jealous obsession. When he was sent away for 80 years without parole, my life of fear had come to an end.

"He's out." I said completely without emotion.

"Yes m'am. I'm sorry." Raylan's voice had gotten very soft. "You know he is a danger to you and your family. We need to protect you until we catch him again."

"You don't think he would just leave town, leave the country, disappear? Wouldn't that be in his best interest? Clive was always about what was in his best interest."

Raylen looked me straight in the eye, assessing how much I could take I guess, and must have decided that I needed to know everything. He reached into his pocket and pulled out snapshots and laid them on the table in front of me. "We found these in his cell. He's only been inside about 3 ½ years and he has quite a collection. He's been following you in every newspaper article, charity and horse racing event. I'd say he's still obsessed with you."

I stared at the pictures. It was my life as drawn out in black and white. I could tell he had even Googled me to find some pretty arcane stuff…stuff I didn't even know was out there. "And nothing of our children?"

"No. There isn't anything out there on them. From what I could tell, you keep them completely out of the public eye apparently and do a very good job of it. I don't think he even knows what they look like. But there is no way to tell. He could have someone on the outside watching, but if that were the case I think we would have found more."

"Clive was never interested in them anyway. It was always about him." My voice wasn't bitter to my ears, just more dead sounding. I had long since given up my anger about this, but my fear could still be brought back with a mention of his name. "So, Marshal Givens…what are you thinkin'?"

"Well, first of all, I'm thinkin' you should call me Raylan." Raylan has this self-deprecating way he slightly lifts his upper lip for a half-smile and raises an eyebrow at the same time. That was a look I was going to look forward to. He knew I was afraid and he tried to make it a little easier for me.

I smiled at him, "Then it is Grace to you," and nodded my head for him to continue.

"We need to take you someplace that would be easier to protect you and your kids. We believe that he'll come for you."

I sat looking into his eyes, evaluating his statement for a moment, and then broke my gaze to watch the hands letting the horses out to graze. The day was coming to an end and dusk was settling in. I shook my head silently and looked back to him, "No. We stay here. You need to catch him and I'm the bait."

Raylan opened his mouth to disagree with me, but I held up my hand to stop him. I leaned forward and looked into his eyes, knowing the truth of what I said and dreading it still. "You know I am right, Raylan. Taking my kids and me away is only going to extend this nightmare. "

TBC

Remember to click and review!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 2

The rain was letting up and the temperature started to drop. I had grown tired with the drink and the smoke, along with the memories. And the phone never rang. I went inside and climbed into my bed. My empty bed. It had been empty a long time…since Clive, which had suited me just fine. Until now. And not just anyone could warm that empty space. Raylan…where are you?

* * *

I remember being surprised at the speed with which the small Marshal office worked. Three hours after I had told Raylan we weren't leaving, there was a team in place for shifts. The security of my home and property was assessed and deemed adequate, if not all they had hoped for. I wasn't paranoid, and this was Kentucky after all, not Miami or New York. I didn't have a need for high-tech security, but I wasn't stupid either. The house was capable of being fully armed, and the perimeter fence could be electrified if needed. Almost everyone who worked for me lived on site in private quarters or a bunk house, and most knew how to shoot just fine. After all, in Kentucky one is practically born with a gun in one hand and a glass in the other. Even on the horse farms. I was a better than fair shot with a gun and a rifle, and after Clive I had become very dangerous at close range, even without a gun. I would never be helpless again.

Even so, three teams of four moved into my house for all intents and purposes. Raylan talked to me about the different team members and their respective roles. He described it as if it were a game with an offense and a defense.

"Some of us are here at the house protecting you and the kids. These are the defensive players. Others will be out trying to find Clive before he finds you. That is obviously the offense. This is our top priority, both protecting you and finding Clive. No one will be doing anything else until he is caught."

I looked at him and half smiled, "So Marshal, which side do you play? Offense or defense?" I surprised myself that I was actually trying to flirt with a man I had just met. One who would be protecting me from my worst nightmare, and instead of focusing on that, all I could think about was how his mouth moved. _Silly girl, you have totally lost your friggin' mind…_

He recognized the tease for what it was and played back in kind, "I play both sides, m'am."

"Hmm…so as defense you would be staying here?" The suggestion in my voice was unmistakable and I regretted it as soon as it came out. _What the hell?_

Raylan paused and looked at me, the heat returning to his eyes but his face remained completely unreadable. I was pretty sure I wouldn't want to play poker with this man. He didn't seem to have any tells except his eyes, and that was easy enough to hide, although right now he wasn't trying very hard. He looked away from me briefly, breaking off contact and sighed as he returned my look, his half-smile back on his face. "I think that would be a very bad idea. And I think you know it too."

I returned his heated look, but with a grumpy frown on my face. "Well then, _Marshal_, I guess there are a lot of reasons for you to hurry up and catch him, don't you?" With that I got up from the table effectively closing the conversation, vowing to never bring it up again unless he did. It was inappropriate. I knew it and yet I had offered it up anyway. And been shot down. It was irresponsible of me and I was thankful that he was thinking clearly _. Silly silly girl… games like this are for teenagers with nothing to lose. Not for times like this. It has been way too long girlfriend. _This was going to become my mantra for the next many days, even though I didn't know it then.

We went inside and the entire group, including the kids, ate some fried chicken and all the fixings. I was pleased to see the group eat heartily. Margaritte's cooking was sublime and she always seemed to know just what to fix. I thought we might be having fried chicken and potatoes with fried okra a lot while we had our guests.

After dinner the Marshals that were staying got themselves settled and we talked about a game of poker later. Of course Raylan wasn't one of the ones staying. I knew he wouldn't be, but there was a pang on disappointment anyway. The others said their goodbyes and climbed into their big black trucks. Raylan lingered shortly and I thought maybe he wasn't so eager to leave after all.

"You wanna join us for a few games of Texas Hold 'em? I promise not to take _all _your money."

He laughed as he leaned against his car. "Well, that would be mighty generous of you since I don't have much money to lose. Besides, what makes you think I would lose to you? I play a mean game of poker."

"So do I cowboy." I was glad our more innocent teasing banter was back and not so serious.

"You have too many tells, Gracie Mae. Too many tells," he said as he pushed himself off the car door and started walking in the direction back to the house.

"We'll see who has more tells, and just who gets played," I smirked.

"I don't like being played," he said seriously, stopping suddenly on the cobbled driveway.

"Neither do I," I looked up at him, sharing his intensity. It was almost a warning hanging out there between us. _Don't screw with me. Don't try to play me. Don't lie._ Not a bad start to any relationship, or to no relationship at all.

"Then let's go in and play some cards."

* * *

And that was the first night of many that ended in a round of poker. I won some and lost some and learned a lot about the people protecting me, especially Raylan. Not so much by what he said, but by what he didn't say, or by a look we would share. And I didn't miss the way some of the others picked up on the tension between Raylan and I. He made a point to keep his distance and I did too, which of course only made the tension greater. The quiet flirtation between us became less subtle as we sought an outlet, but we were careful to never be alone together. And the flirtation was made even more pronounced since when he wasn't around I was friendly but quiet and reserved. Surrounded almost entirely by men, there wasn't another one I would have more than a casual conversation with. I have to admit that while I really enjoyed the high I felt inside when he was around, it was a relief when he was gone. I wanted this to end, and the only way it would end was when Clive was caught, which was proving more difficult than anyone expected. He was well funded and had planned this very well. Of course he would. He rarely made mistakes.

One day Raylan came to the house earlier than usual only to find me gone. I found out later he became quite angry with those who were there that afternoon for allowing me to go off on my own, even if I was on the property. But over the days, we had all relaxed a little bit and while no one was watching I snuck off. I couldn't stand being around so many people all the time. The noise, the invasion of privacy, the interruption of me and my kids' routines were beginning to get on my nerves. The kids of course loved having all the extra attention. But I was being driven up the wall.

So I dressed in my riding jeans, workshirt, and boots and went to the stables. Fortunately they were empty too. I saddled my horse and took off, mercifully with no one seeing me. I rode Boots hard across the fields feeling the wind streaming through my long hair. I felt free again. Finally.

I led Boots to the grove at the far end of the property where a little stream flowed and a limestone dam had built up a small swimming hole. I left her to drink and graze while I found a sunny place on the grass and lay down, taking in the sunshine and the silence. What a gift from God this place was. I considered it to be my private little heaven. I didn't even bring the kids here. I might when they were older, but now I just wanted it for myself.

I breathed in the smells of the grass, the sounds of the insects, and the trickling of the water nearby. I worked hard to stay mindfully in the present but it wasn't easy. My mind wanted to wander to Raylan constantly. I had images in my head of him looking at me from under his hat, watching every move I made. I knew the shape of his lips and the various expressions he made with them. I knew where every gray hair was in his rough beard and casually wondered if he shaved every day just enough to keep his beard at its current length. I knew the way he walked with his hands at his side, graceful yet always on alert for some sort of danger. And I knew he would kill without regret and without mercy. Since he only killed bad guys, I thought that wasn't such a bad trait to have. I wondered if he was the one who finally caught up to Clive if Clive would end up dead or alive. I was sure that Raylan wouldn't draw unless Clive did something stupid like try to draw first, which he probably would. In my daydreams, I hoped that Raylan was hoping he would, just so he could be my hero. _Silly, silly girl…heroes are for TV shows and little girls. You aren't Sleeping Beauty waiting for your Knight in shining armor to wake you from your slumber and carry you off into the sunset._

I must have dozed off because I woke up to the sound of a horse coming to a stop. I casually rolled over to see who it was, disoriented by my dreams and still sleep addled mind. Raylan just sat there at the top of one of our stallions watching me. He didn't move and I didn't either. I knew he was angry with me. Even if he thought he didn't have any tells, I was sensitive enough to pick it up even from this distance. And I would be damned if I was going to apologize for escaping (I now considered my house to be a prison) or to appease him in any way. And so we stayed… him on the horse looking intimidating and scary and me on the ground hopefully looking unimpressed and disdainful. That was what I was going for anyway.

He finally broke the silence by getting off his horse and walking slowly towards me. As he got closer it hurt my neck to keep looking up at him so I rolled over onto my back.

"How'd you find me, Marshal?" I asked as if there was nothing else going on.

"Margaritte told me where you would be. What are you thinking? You shouldn't be out here alone. Hell, you shouldn't be out here at all." He was mad and wasn't hiding it. I thought it was remarkable that he managed to keep what seemed to be a formidable temper under control given as angry as he seemed. Or maybe I was just hoping he cared enough to be angry and that was how I saw it.

"Well, now I'm not alone am I? And Margaritte shouldn't have betrayed me like that," I squinted my eyes up at him as he towered above me. "Are you going to keep standing there like that? The sun is in my eyes."

"Good. Then you can't see how mad I am at you."

"No, but I can hear it. And feel it too."

"You are my responsibility. I…" he broke off and looked away. "Geez Grace, don't do this again."

"I'm the Marshal service's responsibility. Are you talking to me as a Marshal or as Raylan Givens?"

He sat next to me, giving himself a distraction before answering. "Aren't they the same person?"

"Are they? I don't see any of your fellow lawmen out here worried and angry." _Score one for me_.

He took his hat off thoughtfully and started taking in the view. "This place is beautiful. I can see why you come here. And so quiet." I watched as the tension in his neck and shoulders began to release. And I also knew the conversation had shifted and he wasn't going to rise to my bait. _Score one for Raylan._

"It's my place. I never share it with anyone." I told him quietly.

He looked back at me from where he sat, "Well then, I'm sorry I barged in like this. Something like this…one should ask to be invited."

I remained silent and closed my eyes again, feeling the tension leaving my body as well. It was just comforting having him nearby. My breath hitched slightly as I felt him move. Laying his hat aside he took a place beside me.

I don't know how long we laid there in silence. I think we both sort of dozed off. When I woke up, the sun was behind the trees and Raylan was lying on his side watching me sleep.

"Hey," he said to me quietly.

I smiled up at him sleepily. "How long have I been asleep?"

"An hour or so at least. We should have left a while ago but I didn't want to wake you. They're going to send out the Calvary soon."

I groaned at the thought and rolled onto my side facing him. We were inches apart but I could still feel the heat from his body. "I'm not sleeping. I need this to end and I need my life back. I need to not be scared all the time. I need…" I stopped myself shortly before I started really spilling my guts.

He lifted his hand to my hair, pulling a few pieces of grass from it, but running his fingers through its softness as he did. His hand ended up resting on my cheek and I closed my eyes, turning my face into his palm and lightly brushing it with my lips. "What's happening Raylan?"

He sighed and looked at me sadly. "Something that shouldn't."

"Is it so bad? Can't we have this and have you chasing the bad guy?" The want and need in my voice frightened me. I hadn't felt this way in a very long time and had promised myself I wouldn't ever be vulnerable like this again. _Silly, silly girl… promises promises…_

Raylan looked frustrated and then looked away. I rarely saw anything but a confident appearance and more than a few times a smirk on his face, making me think he always had some secret joke going on in his head or that he always found something amusing in the situation. Today I had seen both anger and frustration. And I was the cause.

"I can't be objective about protecting you if I'm falling for you. And protecting you is the most important thing right now. Getting involved with someone you're protecting is very frowned upon." Then he looked at me, drawing close enough to my face I could feel his warm breath. "Besides, you are scared and you are vulnerable…I won't take advantage of that. You have been hurt enough…I won't add to that."

I pulled away from him suddenly, suspicious at his last comment. "What do you mean by 'hurt enough'?" There were things I didn't want him to know, at least not by reading in some sterile court document.

Raylan pursed his lips and looked away. "I didn't read the stuff in the file that wasn't specific to finding your ex. I could have but didn't. It felt somehow like a betrayal. Art mentioned something about how nasty Clive could be but he didn't elaborate and told me I should hear it from you if you wanted to tell me."

"Well, at least he was discrete." I felt the sudden need to move and got up and started to pace. Raylan stayed sitting on the grass and I felt him watching me. I felt angry and betrayed and ashamed, mostly ashamed I suppose. It was not public knowledge and I had worked hard to keep the whole thing very quiet. As far as I knew, other than the sealed court record, no one else even knew what had happened. I knew he needed to know, wanted to know. Not from some sick sense of curiosity but because of something much more primal. But he wouldn't ask directly, and had left me an out if I wanted it. I stared blankly off into the trees, no longer seeing the beauty of the trees or feeling the warmth in the air or even scenting the freshness of the air so far out here in the country. Now all I saw was Clive with his face looming over me, cruelty painted all over it. I felt his hands clawing at me, his mouth biting me, my clothes being ripped and torn. And the smell of him and his sickly sweet cologne and sweat surrounded me. I shuddered and took a deep breath.

TBC

* * *

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 3

Without another word to Raylan, I walked to my horse and pulled myself onto the saddle. I felt sick and wanted to go home. I wasn't ready to talk to him, to tell him, to open myself up like that again. As I started to turn my horse in the direction of the house, he got up and mounted his as well. Without a look to him I started to race Boots back to the barn, faster and faster the wind whipped through my hair getting in my eyes and my mouth. I could feel the tears I couldn't shed before drying against my cheek as I forced Boots into a harder pace than even she was used to. I wanted to run away and had nowhere to run, a cornered animal that ultimately had no place to go and knew once I got to the barn, to the house, to the privacy of my bedroom the demons from my past and the questions of my future would finally pull me into submission.

Raylan rode his mount just as fast, staying with me but not saying anything more. When we reached the stable, I leaped off of Boots and handed her reins to one of the grooms who watched wide-eyed as he saw my disarray. I ignored him and stroked Boots' nose soothingly talking into her ear, thanking her for her loyalty under my pressured abuse of the hard run. Then I turned and walked into the house, up the stairs, and into my bedroom without another look or word.

I'm sure everyone was curious about my odd behavior, especially since it couldn't be missed that Raylan and I had been gone for quite a long time. And that I had come back very upset. I showered for a long time, scrubbing at my skin, unable to get the feel and smell of those memories off my body and out of my mind. The sound of the pounding water dampened my sobs. When I finally got out, my skin was red and raw from the stinging hot water. I stared at myself long and hard in the mirror, seeing the abuse I had just done to my body. The tears and panic had subsided and I was able to think more clearly. I continued to calm as I gently rubbed my favorite jasmine lotion into by savaged skin and comb out my betrayed long hair. I climbed into bed naked and fell into an exhausted sleep.

When I woke up, it was completely dark outside. Dinner was over I could tell, not that I had planned to go down anyway, and I could hear the game on the TV. I imagined that most, if not all, of the Marshals were passing time watching the huge plasma TV in the game room, maybe even shooting some pool as well. There was a soft knock on my door but I ignored it. I thought it was Margaritte leaving some dinner for me outside and knew she would just leave it at my door if I didn't respond. So imagine my surprise when the door actually opened and closed again.

I turned to look at who had the nerve to come into my bedroom uninvited. I saw and turned away from the intruder. "Here you are again, some place private you weren't invited."

I heard him come closer to me before he spoke. "Yeah, I guess so. But I come bearing gifts of food and wine. Maybe you will forgive me?"

Scowling, I rolled over to face him letting the sheet drop enough so he could tell I was naked under it, just to cause some sort of reaction in him. The damn man was like a stone cipher sometimes. "You probably just annoyed Margaritte into giving you the tray to carry up. I'll have to have a little talk with her soon. Is there any chocolate?"

He smiled a real smile at that. "What kind of comfort food would it be without chocolate?"

"Hmm… that would be true. But as you can see you once again have caught me at a disadvantage. I'm not dressed and can hardly sit up and eat. Put the tray down and turn around so I can go get dressed." My voice was stern, but I was laughing at the situation inside.

"Yes, m'am," he drawled. Raylan turned away from the bed and went to the open balcony where he could look out over the back of the farm, seeing it at its best in the moonlight. I walked naked to my closet and put on an oversized t-shirt and panties. I knew it was inappropriate but it was my bedroom after all and he was there uninvited. I'd be damned if I would get dressed completely under these circumstances. And there was more than a small part of me that wanted to yank his chain.

After I dressed I followed him onto the balcony with my dinner tray, sitting on one of the lanai chairs to eat. He turned to face me, leaning his elbows against the railing, his ever-present hat tipped back casually and his hips pushed forward. He looked breathtaking. Ok, now he was yanking _my_ chain.

He watched me take a bite of sandwich and spoke quietly, "I'm sorry about earlier. There is no reason in the world you should have to tell me. I have no right to want to know. It isn't like any of those guys downstairs are asking or prying. I shouldn't be either."

I didn't look up, but took a sip of wine instead. "Then why are you?"

Bewildered, he shook his head once and said, "I have no idea."

I barked a half-laugh. "You are a smart man Raylan. You have an idea."

He remained silent as he contemplated something. "You know Grace, I didn't want to come back to Kentucky. I swore when I left I wouldn't come back. And now that I'm back I'm going to leave as soon as I can."

"Yeah, so you have mentioned." I knew he was warning me off from him, and appreciated it.

"I don't want you to get hurt…" he said in a whisper.

"I'm a big girl Raylan. If there is nothing to hold you here in Kentucky, then so be it. Everything is as it should be. Catching Clive could actually be your ticket out of here. Wouldn't _that_ be ironic?"

Raylan sighed quietly and put his hat back on, pushing himself off the railing. When he stopped at my chair, I looked up. Surprisingly, he leaned over and kissed the top of my head, lingering there to smell my hair. While his mouth lingered, he breathed out, "Gracie Mae Hamilton, you drive me crazy in so many ways…stay safe, be good, and next time I see you please have more clothes on, for both our sakes."

Without another word or look, he lifted his lips from my head and left through the bedroom door while I looked out over the green grass, a little smile on my face. _Score one for me…_

TBC

* * *

**Chapter 4: Chapter 4**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 4

_Silly, silly girl…this is without a doubt the stupidest, most dangerous stunt you have ever pulled. Next time, just call or take a chill pill..._

I found myself sitting in my car outside Raylan's motel room. He was right…it wasn't as bad as a 'no-tell' motel, but it wasn't the Renaissance either. Something like one of those old Holiday Inns. Despite the hour there was a light on in the window. _Maybe he isn't even there…or worse, maybe he is there with someone…oh God, what am I doing here?_

Well, here I was, too far from home to safely go back. As it was, I was surprised Clive hadn't materialized out of the backseat of my car. I opened the car door quietly and got out. I nervously ran my hand through my hair as I walked up to the door and knocked softly. _Geez… this was stupid._

* * *

After Raylan left my room, I went through my nightly routine. I bathed my kids and we sat together as we always did in a huge oversized rocker and read stories. Then I curled up next to them until they fell asleep. I went back to my room, showered again…this time not trying to remove filth but to feel clean and beautiful again. I took care with my hair and shaved my legs, used the expensive scented creams and soaps to make sure I smelled good to my very pores. All the while I thought I knew what I was doing, but never really believed I would go through with it. It was just an innocent fantasy, not something I would actually do. It was too unlike me, too forward, too vulnerable. No, it was just a distraction for the moment, for the day.

By 2:00 a.m., the house was silent and I was ready. But surely I would get caught or chicken out at the last minute. I wasn't really going to do this. It was more of a game in my mind. Before I knew it, I was carrying my boots down the back stairs and out the door into the garage. My Lexus started silently and I found myself driving down the gravel driveway slowly and without lights. _Someone's going to stop me at the gate. ..I won't really leave…_

But no one did and finally I was on the highway headed towards a motel I knew of but had never been to before. I rode in silence, trying to hear every possible sound, spot every possible danger. _Clive…_

Raylan opened the motel room door in his tank undershirt and his half-opened jeans. He was barefoot and his hair mussed. And I thought he had never looked so good. I caught my breath at the sight of him, which was soon knocked out of me when he yanked me into the room

"WHAT THE HELL?" He looked out the door to either side and found I was completely alone. "What are you doing here? How did you get away? No one knows you're gone, right?"

I kept my voice calm and scooted past him into the room, seeing the single Queen bed with cheap covers, the bar set up in the corner and the small fridge below, and another door I guessed led to the bathroom. "See even you think of me as a prisoner…and in my own house! 'How did you get away?' And no, no one saw me. I kept thinking someone would stop me, save me from myself, but your wunderkind Marshals were asleep on the job. And here I am. I just glad I didn't come all this way to find you not here or with someone else. The first would have been frightening and the second… well I'll just stick with embarrassing."

He just stared at me, emotions rolling across his face rapidly. I saw fear, anxiety, frustration, and not the least, anger. His voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, "No one was awake to stop you…?"

He pulled out his cell phone, "I have to call Art and let him know where you are before everyone freaks. And in the morning, I'm taking you back. And if you do this again Gracie, I swear I will…"

"Will what Raylan? I don't think you will hurt me, no matter how angry you are. But of course I have been wrong before."

"You are making me crazy. Please, stop it."

"Am I really so awful?"

"Yes," then he shook his head, "no, but this is dangerous. You could be killed. Clive is dangerous."

I was silent for a moment and then walked to the sink for a glass and back to the table with an open file laying on it. There was a bottle of Jim Beam sitting there and a half-full glass of the whiskey already poured. I poured myself one and drank it down like a shot, and then poured myself another. I took the glass and walked to the bed and sat. Raylan's eyes just followed me, waiting for me to break the silence.

My voice started out in a whisper, so low I wasn't even sure he heard it. "I _know_ how dangerous Clive is. I know first-hand. And after I tell you the story, I think you will understand a lot more. When I met Clive, he was a charmer. He was also known in circles to be quite the player, but once we got together all that seemed to stop. And I never dreamed he would ever hurt me. I never dreamed he was capable of any of the things that happened." I took a long draw on my drink and continued.

"We had a pre-nup that set everything up. That was my father's idea and thank goodness we did. I kept my name… it is a proud name with a great deal of Kentucky heritage behind it. That was the first thing that irked Clive, but I didn't really notice. Then, he had no access to any funds from the farm, no part of the ownership, nothing. But he had his medical practice and I thought that was enough. I still didn't realize he had really married me to be his wealthy arm-candy. And while we were quite the beautiful couple on the charity and social circuit, he didn't have a penny from me. Again, I never realized how that must have fueled his as of yet undiscovered rage."

"We had Michael and all still seemed well. We were both busy and I was living in some sort of fantasy world. I had no idea the things he was involved in. As his practice started to fail, and his desire for money grew, his anger towards me became more direct. He would say things and do things that were mean. And apparently this is also when he started getting into all of his illegal activities. Those you know about so I won't revisit that."

Raylan had taken a seat in the chair across from where I sat on the bed, his glass in his hands, his elbows on his knees, listening intently.

I was coming up on the worst part of the story, the part I had never shared with anyone. My breath became shallow and my mouth was dry. I took another big gulp of the whiskey and he poured some more into the glass. My eyes were unfocused as I started to talk again.

"At some point, his attitude towards me became intolerable and I kicked him out and filed for divorce. It was hard, but I thought that once I turned it over to the lawyers that would be the end of my dealings with Clive," I paused and drew another deep breath in. "But it didn't turn out that way. Sometimes I look back on that whole time and think I must be incredibly stupid to have not seen it coming. But I didn't."

"When the net around Clive was becoming tighter and tighter, he came into the house. Almost everyone was gone to the Blue Grass festival and I was alone. I don't like those sorts of things…too many people." From the corner of my eye I saw Raylan nod in agreement but remain silent, waiting for me to continue. "I was in the kitchen fixing myself a sandwich when he came in. I turned wondering who had returned and there he was. I'll never forget the look on his face. It was nothing less than a cruel snarl like that of a rabid dog." My voice dropped again to a whisper as I stared into space reliving the moment, second by second.

"He pushed me onto the kitchen table and ripped my clothes, his hands clawing and scratching me. His mouth left bite marks on my shoulders and neck, and ultimately a few other places as well. And leaning me over the table, he raped me…over and over again. He would force his way into me making me scream as I felt my body rip. When he was finished he would begin to beat me…his belt, a kitchen tool, his fists…he just kept going. He was completely out of control…not even human anymore. I lost count of how many times he raped me, thank God. Mercifully, I lost consciousness and no longer knew what I was enduring. I found out later that he hadn't stopped after I was unconscious but kept going at me. I think he was trying to kill me. And he came very close. I think he thought he _had_ killed me and then left. I woke up a week later in the hospital."

Nausea had been building up as I told the story, the memories flooding through my brain, but I wanted to get it all out before I stopped. Other than the single detective I gave my statement to, I never talked about it again. Sure people knew, but I stayed silent on the subject and no one had the nerve to question me. Now I had just broken my silence.

I stood quickly, wobbling on my feet and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door and retching into the toilet. I couldn't seem to stop, the sobs and the dry heaves just kept coming. It felt like my stomach was going to be ripped apart. I heard the door quietly open and Raylan came in. He sat on the floor with me, holding my long hair out of the way while I hung onto the toilet seat. I could feel the cold tile floor against my legs and he put a wet cloth on the back of my neck. And he just sat there. A comforting presence…not talking, not judging, only being there for me at that moment.

When my stomach finally settled, I sat back against the tile wall where he tucked my shoulder under his and wrapped his arms around me, my head resting on his shoulder. And we stayed like that for a long time.

When my heart rate and breathing had slowed and I had become drowsy, he helped me off the floor and led me to the sink, handing me his toothbrush, knowing I would want to brush my teeth.

I held the toothbrush up and looked at him questioningly, "You don't mind? Not many people share their toothbrushes with anyone, not even spouses."

His voice was rough with unspoken emotion, "I suppose after what you just shared with me, the least I can do is share my toothbrush."

I gave him a slight smile and took the toothbrush and walked back into the bathroom and closed the door. I washed my face with cold water, brushed my teeth several times, and took a long look at myself in the mirror. _Was it worth it, silly girl? Do you feel better? Was he the right person to share it with? _I didn't have answers to any of those questions yet.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw him cleaning up a mess of broken glass and saw the bloody cuts on his hands. "What happened?"

"I guess I just squeezed too hard. Nothing to worry about. I turned to bed down so you can get some sleep." Raylan had turned down one side of the bed and steered me towards it.

"Let me see your hands first." I took a look at all the cuts and the blood. "Geez, Raylan. These are those cheap hotel glasses. They aren't easy to break."

"Yeah, well..."

I looked up at him and smiled softly, then led him to the sink to wash the cuts. I held his hands and fished the chunks of glass out and dropped them in the trashcan below. After each hand was cleaned, I leaned over and kissed each cut, absorbing what little blood was left with my tongue. After the first touch of my tongue to his skin, I heard his breath hitch and grow shallow. I looked up at him while my mouth traveled over his damaged hands. I watched as his eyes became heated and his tongue licked his lips. _Silly girl, you are teasing the tiger...very dangerous. _I moved my hands lightly up his bare, muscled arms until they rested gently behind his neck. Our eyes never parted from each other. He leaned in very slowly, hesitantly waiting for me to move away, but I didn't. Finally, after what seemed like days, his lips finally touched mine. It was a tender kiss. I tasted the JB on his lips and the salt..._tears? _as he held the kiss for just a moment and then broke away. We both sighed and I pulled away from him, leading him to where he had turned down the bed. I had a sense of regret that we had just shared something so intimate and yet there was no next step to go to. And maybe that made it all the more intimate.

"We will both take the bed. After all of this, I don't want to be alone, even if you are only on the floor beside me. Trust me Raylan, taking advantage of you is the furthest thing from my mind right now. Well, maybe it was but I promise I'll be good. You can keep your honor."

I heard him grumble slightly under his breath, "It isn't you I'm worried about, Gracie."

I smiled at his comment as I sat on the bed and took my boots off and then my jeans. He started to object as he saw my bare legs but I raised my hand up. "Really Raylan, you've seen me in much less when I'm in my bathing suit. And I hate to sleep in jeans." I pulled my shirt off and under it was a black tank undershirt and one could see the black straps of my bra under that. I was left in black panties and a black t-shirt.

Exhausted, I climbed into bed and thought I would fall asleep before he got in bed beside me, _if_ he got in beside me, but instead he joined me before I fell asleep. I heard him get his gun and lay it next to him on the bed. I was on his left side so his gun hand was free. I snuggled next to him while he pulled me into a loose embrace, kissing the top of my head. "Dream sweet dreams baby," he said. I smiled at the endearment and snuggled closer. My leg brushed again him and I heard him gasp. He couldn't hide his erection and didn't try to.

"It's ok, Raylan. I trust you and I'm sorry it all came to that. I know this isn't the time or the place." I paused as I listened to his quiet breathing. "Raylan? I haven't told anyone that story. And I haven't slept in anyone's bed or anyone in my bed since..." and my voice drifted off.

Just before I lost myself to complete sleep I heard him say, "Well then Gracie Mae, I'm glad that it is me."

TBC

Remember to review! As Booth once said to Bones: "You have the time to write. I have the time to read."

* * *

**Chapter 5: Chapter 5**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 5

The mood around the house was tense to say the least. Tense and full of quiet whispers. _You really made a mess of things this time, silly girl._ Whatever I had been thinking when I left the night before and whatever had occurred during the night in Raylan's room was apparently just wrong in so many ways. And yet, I still couldn't forget the taste of his lips on mine, the word "baby" falling from his lips, the smell of him surrounding me as I slept. His scent, something I can't quite put my finger on, that is just him…no scented soaps, no colognes, just him. I will always consider that smell, Raylan's scent, to be that of safety. Because as I lay next to him, I felt safer than I had in my entire life. I would never think that night, that feeling, those lips would ever be wrong, whatever the consequences.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee filling the room and the sound of water in the shower. I have no idea how long Raylan had been up, but long enough to straighten up a bit and get the morning started. I stretched out my muscles that were so tight from my sobs last night and reached for his pillow. In case I never had this opportunity again, I wanted to fill my mind and my senses with the smell of his pillow, of him, so I would always remember. It wasn't until I heard the shower shut off that I finally push the pillow away and stood up. I was pulling on my crumpled jeans when he walked out of the shower. _OMG…_ my mind raced as my breathing screeched to a halt and my heart started pounding in my throat. He stood in front of me in just his jeans, his top button undone, and bare chest. His hands were rubbing his wet hair dry with a towel before he saw me standing there, gaping stupidly at him. I was sure there was nothing, _nothing_, sexier than the tall dark man that stood before me now. And my body was screaming in agreement.

He dropped his hands and sort of tried to cover his chest, although really there is nothing about seeing a man's chest, right? Of course, after the kiss last night everything had changed. While we might have had a hefty amount of sexual tension before, now it was almost physically palpable. The room closed in and to my credit, or ours, I think both of us stopped breathing for a moment. I was standing half dressed with just my tank top on and pants half-way up and he was standing across from me with his pants on and no shirt at all.

Raylan cleared his throat a couple of times and cocked his eyebrow, giving me one of his trademark smirks…like he was in on some sort of private joke…only this time, I knew it wasn't a joke, it was embarrassment maybe? Discomfort? I saw him try to discretely move to readjust his pants, attempting to do it behind the towel that had dropped to his chest. Now I had a little smirk on my face too.

"Good morning, Grace," his voice choked out as he intentionally turned towards the coffee pot on the little bar area.

"Good morning, Raylan," I drawled as I headed for the bathroom. As I passed behind him I let my fingers glide across his bare back feeling his muscles flinched at my touch. He choked on his coffee and spewed some out. I laughed slightly, "My, you are a little jumpy this morning, Marshal." I turned to meet his eyes as he watched me close the door behind me. He was just shaking his head with that eyebrow still cocked.

I brushed my teeth and came back out, heading for the coffee pot. I was never very good about getting my morning started without brushing my teeth and then ruining the fresh taste of toothpaste with coffee. He was sitting at the table, unfortunately fully dressed by this time. _Damn_.

"Gracie, we need to talk," he began. He was serious and I figured I had really messed things up, for him, for us, for the Marshal Service even.

I remained silent and took my coffee to sit on the bed. I still wasn't fully dressed, but I had not really noticed. He did. "Can you please get your shirt back on? This is important and, well…"

I snickered a little and did as he asked. At this point even seeing me in my tank top and bra was too much for him. How would we ever get through the next (hopefully) few days?

When I returned to my place on the side of the bed, he started again. "What happened last night… What's happen' between us? It shouldn't be. It's dangerous."

"So you have said," I answered quietly.

"I have to take you back home, and when we get there all hell is going to break loose, probably on both of us. Art has already called once this morning to find out when we would be getting back. He sounded mad enough to spit nails. The fallout for this 'little' breach of security is going to be big. And everyone, _everyone_, is going to think we slept together last night."

"We did sleep together last night…" I replied, realizing too late that I was being a little too snarky when he was trying to communicate the absolute seriousness of the situation.

"Grace, you _know_ what I mean. This is not a joke. Your safety is not a joke. And if you were to be killed by that monster before I could kill him, I would never, ever forgive myself."

"Ok. I get it. Am I supposed to apologize? I will apologize to you and whoever else for breaking security. It was stupid and I knew better. And I will apologize for putting the Kentucky Marshal's office in jeopardy, if I did, or if someone's job is at risk because of this little indiscretion. But I will not apologize for last night. Even if you regret it, I do not."

Raylan looked at me and shook his head, torn between anger and frustration and something much more powerful he was trying to keep hidden. He whispered to me across his cup of coffee, "Do not _ever _think I regret last night."

I raised my eyebrows to him and the silence between us spoke volumes. "What do we say when you take your prisoner back to her cell?"

"Gracie Mae Hamilton, for the record, I am not sure who is who's prisoner here. And as for answering questions, I've always found it best to tell the truth. Just tell the truth. Don't elaborate, don't share more than a question requires, but always_, always_ tell the truth." I nodded my understanding and he continued, "And even if you do feel like a prisoner in your own home, your 'cell' as you call it, it is by far the nicest 'cell' in the country. Now, let's go get some breakfast and head home. I told Art I'd bring you back after I fed you."

I gathered my purse and went to where Raylan waited at the door. "I'm goin' to go out first and make sure we're clear and then we'll head over to the little café. Walk on my left side, ok? You don't mind somethin' akin to truckstop food, do you? It's full of lard and cholesterol and all that really good stuff."

"It's been a while but I remember really likin' that sort of food once. But of course, I'll have to work it all off later today. Wanna help?"

I was standing next to him waiting to walk out the door, when he put his hand behind my neck and brought my face up close to his. I could smell the coffee on our breaths mingling. I watched his eyes as his hand pulled me closer and closer to his face, until just before our lips touched and both our eyes closed as we lost ourselves in the kiss: a tender kiss, a kiss of passion beaten into submission, a kiss of promises of things to come, one of those kisses of a lifetime. When we finally broke apart, he kept my face close to his.

"Please Grace," I noticed he used my given name when he was deadly serious, "stop teasing. This is hard enough as it is. And it will only get harder. When we leave this room, that's it. We can't do this anymore. Hell, I'm probably going to be sent back to the office for good on this one. So please…"

I looked into his pleading eyes. There was no anger, or frustration, or anything but tenderness and passion and need. I nodded my head slightly, my eyes tearing, "I'll be good. I get it. There is a line, and I won't cross it again. I promise. If it is to be crossed, then it's yours to cross."

I'm not sure if he realized at the time just what that promise entailed for me. I was deadly serious. I had allowed myself to become too vulnerable, something I had kept from doing for years. And I was vulnerable to a man I couldn't be sure of. When this was all over, would we pick up where we left off when we leave this room? Or would he just go back to his corner of life and I to mine and never the two shall meet again? I had just put the ball in his court even if he didn't know it yet.

He ran his fingers lightly through my long hair once again, and then opened the door and stepped out.

* * *

When we finally did get back to the farm, he was right…all hell did break loose. First it was Art was tearing Raylan a new one, even though Raylan sure as hell hadn't initiated this and had been sort of trapped into it. Raylan didn't defend himself at all. He just stood there and took it. And when Art asked him a question, he answered it honestly, although I'm not sure Art believed him. After all, how could we have stayed in the same room with only one bed and have nothing happen?

Raylan and Art took the Marshals that were on duty the night before, out by the barn to give the proverbial whipping. I couldn't hear the words, but I heard Raylan's soft angry voice traveling over the breeze into the open balcony doors in my bedroom. He was furious. I guess shit really does flow downward. I wondered when my time would come…I was ultimately the cause of all of this and would no doubt find myself paying a hefty price.

Art found me sitting in the kitchen alone drinking some coffee. Raylan had taken off after the whipping at the barn, without a goodbye. I hadn't expected anything different but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

"Mind if I join you, Gracie?" Art drawled. He had a deceptive good 'ol boy demeanor. I thought he was probably as hard as iron under his cushy slow drawling voice.

"If I said yes, would you go away?" _That was really dumb, silly girl… you know he isn't goin' away..._

"Well, I'd rather be welcome, but the conversation is happen' either way."

I tilted my head in a frustrated acknowledgement and motioned for him to join me. He silently poured some coffee and then sat in the wooden kitchen chair beside me.

"So Gracie, we have ourselves a problem here don't we?"

"Look Art, just cut the shit eating grin and the good' ol boy talk and get to the point."

"You fucked up Gracie, pardon my language," he added after the fact.

"Yep, it would appear that way. And you know _Art_, all the yelling and swearing and tearing everyone a new one around here really wasn't necessary. I started it. I went to see Raylan, he didn't have any control over that. I snuck out of the house deliberately and with every intention of getting out without getting caught…hell, I've been doing that my whole life. None of this is anyone's fault but mine. I get that."

"People will probably lose jobs over this, Gracie. This was a Class A security breach, and someone will pay for it."

"I can assure you Art, no one will lose their jobs over this. If anyone is to pay for what I did, it will be me. I will fix this. No harm, no foul. If, or when, this comes raining in on you or the office I will take care of it."

His eyebrows wrinkled together, "I know you are rich and have a name that is well respected, but you think you can pull that off? This is the U.S. government, not just Kentucky…"

"I'm very aware of the situation," I said dismissively, changing the subject. He didn't need to know how I would put it right, just that I would. "Now, what happens next? How will I be punished? You are apparently not going to yell at me like you did Raylan…"

"Lotta' good that did, I'm sure," he shook his head and looked out the screen door, not really seeing anything. "Well, Raylan and I talked about that. He's the most senior Marshal I have, and one of the best in the country, even if he has been sent back here to Kentucky as some sort of punishment."

"Keeping you in the line of sight will probably just make the situation worse for everyone. You already hate having your privacy invaded, and now everyone is pretty frustrated with you too. So, I think that we will just limit where you can go and tighten everything else up."

"Oookaay," I asked suspiciously, "where am I going to be allowed to go? Am I going to be grounded to my room like my dad used to do? Locked in so I can't sneak out?"

Art gave a hrmp and smiled, "I'm glad I wasn't your father. You must have been a pain in the ass." I returned his smile…he had no idea.

Art continued, " No, you won't be grounded to your room, but Raylan was about to turn you over his knee given the chance. But I guess after he heard the story last night, I doubt he would ever think of that again."

"He told you I told him then."

"Yep. He needed to know. Whatever is goin' on between the two of you, which we'll all continue to pretend not to notice, he needed to know as more than the Marshal assigned to protect you. He needed to know because the man he is protecting you from is not just some bad ass criminal, he's a monster and having you fall into his hands is simply impossible. Not that Raylan would ever have allowed that to happen anyway…"

"I appreciate you letting me tell him and not having him just read the statement. I can't name what is goin' on between us, if there is anything really goin' on, I honestly don't know Art, but something as big and as personal and as intimate as that story should only be told by the person it happened to."

Art sighed and looked at me directly. "The two of you can't sleep together. Not until this case is all wrapped up and tied with a bow, Gracie. If you both can't stay on either side of that unseen line, then I have to take Raylan off the assignment, and I don't think either of us wants that."

"I guess that cuts to the chase, huh? I understand. He told me all about the line this morning, and I promised that it wouldn't be me that crossed it. I won't break my promise. And I know he won't either…not until he is sure."

Art smiled softly at me, recognizing what I meant by 'not until he was sure', "You already understand him pretty well, Gracie. And, I suspect, you can hold your own too."

"Can I ask you to promise me something else, Gracie?"

"You can always ask."

"Promise me that you will not try to leave again. That you will stay in the house or by the pool or even at the training corral, but no more riding off on your horse or leaving the grounds at all. Stay close. This is a lot of property to protect and we can't protect you if you aren't close by."

"I know. I will promise you. Now, how mad is everyone at me?"

"I'd say pretty mad. I'd suggest lots of fried chicken and losing lots of money to them tonight…"

I laughed and stood up. "Good plan. Now I think I'll change and head to the pool."

That night, everyone happily got their fill of the best fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy with biscuits they had ever had. I'd even helped cook. And several of the lucky ones walked off with a great deal of winnings.

TBC

* * *

**Chapter 6: Chapter 6**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 6

It's been 25 days since that night in Raylan's hotel room. Twenty-three days since I had seen or heard from him. The house was quiet now, at least back to the quiet it was before we were invaded by the Marshal Service. The farm had returned to its normal comings and goings. People went about their business, achieving more and more normality as the days past. As for me, I wasn't sure things would ever be back to normal for me again. I ended up pulling in quite a few markers to mitigate the damage done to the Kentucky field office. No one lost their jobs, and there was no written slaps on the wrist put in their files. Art called about once a week to check on us, on me. I'd like to think he was keeping tabs for Raylan. _Silly girl…there you go again…he's gone and not coming back. He warned you he wasn't staying and you had to go all goofy for him anyway. _I sighed as I took a sip of iced tea and listened to my kids play in the pool. The bruises were mostly gone now, and those that weren't were covered by my ever-growing tan. I spent more time by the pool now than I did in the house. When we were under occupation, the house became claustrophobic for me. And then given what happened afterwards…well I would just rather be outside in the sunshine, where shadows were less likely to appear. I left those to the nighttime where the monsters crawled out of my mind and into my nightmares. I slept less and less and stayed up drinking in the dark more and more.

* * *

After the night in his hotel room, Raylan pulled a disappearing act. I had seen him drive away after all the yelling about my 'escape' and hadn't seen or heard from him since. I asked Art about it and he gave me a sort of non-answer. I confronted him directly.

"Art, did you order him not to be around? Is that why he has gone, or is it something else?"

He looked at me, a little sadness in his eyes, a look of sympathy I hated seeing there. It told me all I needed to know. "I see. He's gone away on his own. Is he even still working the case? Even still in Kentucky?"

"Gracie, he's still on the case, and he'll come back. Just not right away. Raylan's a pretty unorthodox Marshal, but he is honest to a fault and never stops till he gets his man, or woman, occasionally. I couldn't pull him off this case even if I wanted to. But he won't endanger you anymore by allowing you to be a distraction to him. It's better that you both get some distance right now."

I just looked away and then nodded my head pretending to understand, but still hurt. _You really opened yourself up on this one, silly girl…_ I turned and walked away, leaving Art standing in the steamy Kentucky heat.

Later that day I sat out on the porch watching the kids play on the front lawn with the puppies. I was tired from not sleeping and sort of started to doze. I jolted awake when I heard a car scraping up the gravel driveway. It was my Lexus with one of the hands at the wheel, followed closely by a black Suburban. My heart leaped into my throat even though I didn't move a muscle. My eyes were shielded by dark sunglasses so no one could tell if I was even awake or not. And then Tim got out of the truck, alone, and walked over to the garage to get the keys from the other man. I shook my head and went inside the empty house.

I was in the kitchen eating one of the cookies Margaritte had made the night before. Natalie came in asking for a snack and I realized that yes, it was about that time. I smiled at my cute little girl and ran my hands absently through her hair.

"Of course, baby. How about some string cheese, maybe some goldfish crackers or would you like the naminal crackers?" She still had a hard time pronouncing animal crackers in that little girl voice of hers, so we had all taken to calling them naminal crackers.

"Mommy! Let's have a picnic and have everything!" She practically squealed in her excitement. Natalie seemed to have a never ending supply of excitement and shared it enthusiastically with us all.

"Ok, take a seat at the table and I'll get it out for you." I laughed at her climbing into the chair with her big diaper on her bottom and her chubby arms pulling her up. I washed my hands and then began fixing her a little picnic, complete with a small checkered napkin for her to eat it on.

With elbow on the table and head in my hand, I sat next to her and watched her as she ate. In my obsession or crush or love with Raylan I had forgotten what it was to really be present with my child as she ate. I heard the screen door off the garage open and close behind me but didn't turn around. So many people coming and going…

"Hello Gracie Mae," the soft whispered murderous voice sounded behind me.

I jerked around shielding Natalie only to face Clive. _Oh shit…_ I didn't take my eyes off of him but my peripheral vision told me it was just Natalie and me in here with my personal monster. His hair was longer and dirtier than I had ever seen and it looked like he had lost a tooth. His face was puffy and he had gained weight.

I tried to scream, knowing it put bring the Calvary coming, but before I could get more than a squeak out he was on me with his knife. Natalie started to cry in fear and I stayed very still staring into Clive's dead eyes, quietly asking Natalie to leave.

She couldn't hear me over her cries or she was so terrified that she couldn't move, I don't know. But Clive had both me and my daughter alone in a room with a knife.

"This time I will kill you. And I have your little daughter to watch. Won't that be a vision for her the rest of her life? Watching mommy's blood spill onto the kitchen table… I notice you got a new table from when I was here last," he sneered.

"She is our daughter Clive. Don't hurt her." The knife edge cut just a little deeper as I tried to talk.

"Oh, baby I know she is mine. My last little gift I gave you. I thought you were dead, but obviously not. So, I came back to finish the job. But you look so good, I think I'll have me a little taste. It's been over three years in a prison with nothing but men, and trust me, it never tastes like it does with you."

Bile rose in my throat, from fear and from his words. He really would kill me this time. _No! I can fight him. There are at least four marshals on and around the house. He won't get away this time. And he will __not__ rape me again._

He was straddled across my body, knife at my throat, my arms pinned above me. I brought the only part of my body I could move up, kneeing him in the groin. He grunted and when he loosened his grip I broke free, picking Natalie and practically throwing her out of the way. He slammed me up against the fridge so hard I saw stars but fought against passing out. He started pounding on me with his fists, ripping at my pool cover-up, using his knife to cut the strings of my bikini top away.

I threw my elbow into his throat and he fell back choking, gasping for air. I screamed then and as I did, I heard Raylan's voice, cold and hard, talking to Clive. Clive had pulled a gun from the back of his pants and had somehow gotten a hold of Natalie in the skirmish. I cried out for Natalie and Raylan very calmly said, "Grace, you need to come back here. Don't turn around, just walk slowly back towards my voice staying to the right. He's not going to hurt Natalie."

Raylan's voice started to address Clive and his voice became more dangerous than I ever thought I would hear. "Clive. This is going to end badly for you. You won't hurt the girl and you won't hurt Grace. And you will never get out of this kitchen. So why don't you drop the gun and the knife and let the little girl go. Then it will be just you and me."

"No way. You won't make the shot while I'm holding the girl and I walk out o' here with a hostage. I'm not goin' back to prison."

"Well now Clive, that would be your choice about prison. If you don't drop the girl by the time I count to five your choice will have been made." Raylan's voice was deceptively calm and quiet.

Clive started to back towards yet another door to escape and I sobbed for Natalie but didn't move. I knew that Raylan would not allow Natalie to be hurt or Clive to walk away. If I moved, it would only put everyone in danger.

"One…two…" the two men never broke eye contact. I heard Clive's pistol cock and saw him place it against Natalie's head. She was quiet now, probably in abject terror. I thought she might have even fainted as tightly as he was holding her.

"Now Clive, that was a very stupid thing to do. I'll ask one more time, put the girl down."

"I'm outta here…" but before Clive could move at all, Raylan had shot the gun out of his hand, causing Natalie to start screaming again. The next shot went into Clive's head, a perfect little hole in the very center. Clive's body dropped like a stone, dragging a screaming Natalie with it. I rushed to her pulling her away and taking her out of the room.

The gunshots and screams had drawn everyone around the ranch towards the house, although thankfully none had entered the kitchen during the draw down. I sat on the porch step clinging to Natalie as she screamed and cried. She had a little bit of blood on her, but it wasn't hers. But then I kept finding more blood and realized that it wasn't coming from her, it was coming from me_. Jesus…he got me again… _I said as I passed out on the wooden steps.

* * *

I woke up under the glaring lights of a hospital room. Raylan's voice softly over me and I felt him take my hand, "Hey baby, welcome back."

"Raylan," I said groggily. Then it all came flooding back and my body jerked awake and I tried to get up.

"Natalie!" I yelled, struggling with all the cords and wires coming out of my body.

"Grace! Lay back down before you hurt yourself. Natalie is fine. Not a scratch on her. She's with Margaritte. Michael is too. I think there is a handful of Marshals playing happy uncles out there." He helped me get resettled in the bed.

I started to cry as I remembered what had happened again in that damn kitchen. "You killed Clive. He's dead."

He nodded his head, "Yeah, Clive is dead."

I looked at him and wrapped my fingers around the hand resting in mind. "Thank you, Raylan." I brought his hand to my lips and held it there.

With his hand still against my lips, I asked him, "And what happened to me? Tell me what's hurt. Surely I'm not hurt as bad as it feels. And I haven't been here for days again, have I?"

Raylan smiled slightly, nodding his head, "You were only out from the house through surgery. It is the middle of the night of the same day he showed up. There are some nicks to the arteries in your throat and that is where most of the blood came from. You've got bruises on your face and your arms and a few more nicks where he cut you taking your top off." Raylan's voice stopped and he leaned over the bed taking my hand into his and this time bringing mine to his lips. "I'm sorry Grace."

My brow wrinkled as I looked up him, "For what?"

"That you got hurt at all. Clive should never have been able to get close to you."

"Raylan, this isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. You saved my life and my child's. Please Raylan, don't make more of this than it is."

He kissed my hand again and pushed himself away from the bed. "You need to sleep, baby. The doctor's say you'll be out of here tomorrow or the next day."

"And you? Will you be here?" I barely could whisper it. I thought I knew the answer, but I had to ask.

"Gracie Mae Hamilton, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known and you are going to be fine…"

"And you are going to leave aren't you?" My voice was tight with unshed tears. I tried to just breathe through it. I didn't want to cry in front of him.

"I'm going to take a break for a while, Grace. I need to think. Keep your cell phone close, baby." He gently kissed my dry lips, brushed the hair away from my face, and turned and left the room.

TBC

* * *

**Chapter 7: Chapter 7**

* * *

**Justified: Silly Girl**

Chapter 7

Natalie slept in my bed like she did most nights now. She would start off in her own bed but inevitably end up in mine. She'd either wake up screaming or crying or just shuffle herself and her Pooh into my room. I would lie beside her until she slept again and then take up my place on the chairs on the balcony. I didn't sleep much anymore. Between Natalie's nightmares and my own, there didn't seem much point and I saw more dawns these days than I had in my all-night party days in college. Tonight, actually several nights lately, I had tossed off the sleeping t-shirts and jerseys and started wearing the nicer, more feminine stuff. I guess I was feeling beautiful again, and after the last month, even if Raylan was gone, it didn't mean I couldn't move on with my life. That didn't mean I was ready to draw someone into my life quickly, but it was nice to dress like there was someone already there.

I sat on the lanai chair smoking my cigarette when the motion spot light came on in the backyard under my balcony. Sometimes a wild animal would set it off. A few nights ago it was a mama raccoon and her babies. The puppies stirred and went to the balcony edge and started barking, but it was a bark of greeting. They knew whoever was down there. I heard a soft voice calling to the dogs to be quiet and I stood and looked over, surprised to see the man in the ever-present cowboy hat.

He looked up at me from the grass below, "Hey."

With a smirk, I looked down at him, "Hey, yourself stranger." I wasn't sure how I felt seeing him. I had sort of convinced myself he was not coming back.

"Can I come up?" Raylan asked, hat in hand. Well, I liked that…coming back to me hat in hand_. But maybe he isn' t coming back silly girl… are you ready for that?_

I turned my head to the side and then turned back into the room, tossing my keys over the railing. He caught them easily. "Come on up. I think you know the way. And Raylan, stop by the kitchen and get a glass on your way."

He nodded and turned to enter the house. He knocked softly on the bedroom door and entered, finding me still standing at the railing. I had on a black silk nightgown that laced loosely up the back, my hair pulled up quickly so he was sure to see the sexy back. I made sure I was standing in a position where he could not possibly miss it.

Watching the darkness, I didn't turn to face him and listened while he filled his glass with ice and then poured some whiskey. He stopped at the lump in the bed and I heard him whisper Natalie's name. Then he finally made it out to where I was standing looking out onto the view. He put his back against the railing so he was facing me taking in my nightgown and I suppose everything else he could see.

"You look good, Gracie Mae." He reached over to touch the silk strap of my nightgown and I noticed how his warm skin contacted my cool bare shoulder. "I'm sure glad that you weren't wearin' this when you came to my room that night. Things might have gone a lot differently."

I smirked at him. "Yes, well, now you're here and I'm guessing you like what you see."

He laughed slightly, "Yeah, I think I do. I'm pretty sure I have never seen a woman in a silk nightgown like that before."

I smiled up at him as I turned into his arms. "Well, that makes me happy to hear."

He touched my cheek and pulled some fly-away hair from my face. "Remember when I told you that when I left Kentucky I was never coming back?"

"I remember somethin' like that bein'said." We were talking in whispers.

"And that when I got sent back here I promised myself I was goin' to leave as soon as I could."

"I didn't forget."

"So," he drew the word out in his deep voice, "if I found something that would make me want to change my mind, break my promise to myself, would that be a good thing or a bad thing?"

I paused and then slowly answered him, "I guess it would depend on what _you_ think—the good or bad thing. You wouldn't want to break a promise and then be sorry for it later. That might hurt a lot of people."

"And if I was sure I wanted to break that promise and make another one? Would that be a good thing?"

"I suppose that would depend on what the other promise would be_." Where in the world was this conversation going?_

"Gracie, I want to stay here, in Kentucky, with you. I left you to see if I could, to see if I could really know what I wanted. And now I know."

"And that is the 'good thing' you are talkin' about?"

Raylan paused, now not so sure of himself. _"I_ thought it would be a good thing…"

"What do you mean, stay here with me?"

"I'm not talking talkin' about movin' in. I want to do this right, Grace. We met under extreme circumstances and that, well I just don't think that is the best way to keep a relationship going. Once the extreme circumstance is gone," he paused and looked down at his glass, "I guess I just don't think there is much left after that."

"And you know this from personal experience?" _Oh, silly girl, that didn't sound jealous at all…_

He pursed his lips and took another drink, "No," he drawled, "in 17 years I've never crossed that line. But I've seen others who have and it _always_ ends badly."

"I guess I'll have to take your word for that Marshal, seein' as how I've never been in too many extreme circumstances."

I felt him turn against me and wrap his warm arms around my cool body. I could feel his rough hands as they touched my exposed skin. My breathing sped up as he pulled me into his body, his heat warming my body, my heart, and my mind.

"Raylan, you left me. You left us. Hell, I was still in the hospital when you went away. No calls, no messages at all. What am I supposed to think?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you were released, baby. I wanted to be, but I knew then it would just be harder for us both." Raylan lifted my chin, looking into my eyes, and then his eyes dropped to where his fingers were barely touching the faded red marks of the wounds last left by Clive on my neck. "I'm sorry I wasn't there before he could touch you, before he could cut you like that."

His voice grew distant even though he was only a few inches from me, still staring at the small scars. "I walked in and saw him there, with you and Natalie. You were bleeding pretty heavily, but apparently you didn't even know you were hurt. And then he grabbed Natalie and I thought I would lose my mind. I couldn't tell if your wounds were life-threatening or not, and he was using Natalie to block my shot. I never wanted to kill someone so badly in all my life, Grace. Killing him seems so quick for what I really wanted to do to him."

"But Grace, if we had slept together that night, or been any more involved or I anymore distracted, things then would not have ended well. I wouldn't have been thinking clearly and…well I don't want to know what would have happened." His voice broke near the end and he pulled me against him, holding my head to his chest.

We stood there for some time and then I broke the silence, "But Raylan, here we are. We are all fine. It's all good. And you came back…"

"Yeah, I came back. I want us to start over. Like we just met…a guy and a girl in a grocery store, or the park or a bar…wherever it is that couple's meet. It's been so long since I've known anyone who wasn't a Marshal or in the system somehow, I'm not sure I know how that all works anymore." His voice was wry sounding and I pulled away slightly so I could look up at him.

"Hmm…that might be kinda hard Raylan. Neither of us ever goes to the grocery store…you because you eat out all the time or get stuff at the local 7/11 and me, well because Margaritte does all that. And I'm the one with the cute kids and the puppies, so you couldn't use that ruse to meet me at the park, but I suppose it might work with you," I smiled. "And a bar? I haven't been to a bar since college so that is unlikely as well."

He snorted and then quickly kissed my forehead. "And so what would you suggest?"

"I'm afraid I'm sorta in the same boat as you…it's been a while since I've actually met anyone at all, at least not that I might want to date. How about we just start with "We met… and let the story unfold from there?"

"So we start with 'Once upon a time… and skip ahead to where we are right now?"

"Sure, something like that."

"I want us to date, go to dinner, go dancin', play pool, spend time with the kids, all of that stuff that normal people do as they fall in love." He paused and took a deep breath, "I think maybe we fell in love before we did the other stuff."

I stood there shocked at his admission. _Silly girl he didn't really mean it like that…_

"Are you saying you _love_ me?" I couldn't believe that.

"Are you saying you _don't_ love me?" He shot right back.

"Well no, but I thought it was just me…that maybe I was just have some sort of transference or hero worship and attributing what I felt to you. You left me after all."

"I left you only to find out that I love you. I won't leave you again."

"I'm afraid Raylan. I think you could really hurt me."

"I'm afraid too, Grace. You really know nothing about me. What if you find out you can't be involved with some guy who grew up in some Kentucky backwater and has a criminal father? I don't want you to be ashamed of me when we go to those high society events that I know you hate, but you go to anyway. There is a lot we need to know about each other. That is why I want us to start at the beginning. Not rush into bed, no matter how much I would like that. We date. We learn about each other. We start from 'Once upon a time…'"

I smiled at him, my mouth close to his, our breath swirling together. "We date. We learn about each other. But Raylan, I can't promise I won't try to get you into bed with me."

He laughed, "Yeah, I don't think I can promise that either." His fingers returned his attention to my gown and my skin. "I really like this gown."

I shifted my weight against him and could feel his hardness against my stomach. "Yeah, I can tell." He laughed again as he leaned in to kiss me. It was one of those long slow kisses. Our lips parted and our tongues gently met, just barely touching, tasting each other for the first time. The kiss sealed us together, our lips, our bodies, everything became linked together in that one kiss.

A small little voice came out from the doorway, "Ray-Ray?" Natalie always called him Ray-Ray, and I guess we had woken her up.

He smiled and broke away from me and turned his attention to Nat. "Hey how's my girl?" he said as he bent to her level.

She climbed into his arms and snuggled her head almost where mine had just rested. "You came back."

"Yeah, baby girl, I came back."

"Nightmares, Ray-Ray. Mommy has them too. Maybe you can shoot the bad monsters in our dreams." We could both hear the tears in Natalie's little voice.

He turned to look up at me with concern on his face. I hadn't said anything about my nightmares or hers. "Yeah, Natalie. I'll keep the bad monsters away." His voice dropped to a whisper as he talked to her, running his fingers through her head as she pressed her face to his chest.

Natalie stood up and pulled him by his hand to the bed where she crawled in, trying to drag him in with her. "Stay," she ordered in her little girl voice.

He looked up at me, and I smirked a little at him, wondering what he would do now. He looked back at the little girl with the big eyes full of sleep and tears. "Ask nice and I'll stay until you fall asleep, ok Nat?"

"And until Mommy falls asleep too. Please…?" Maybe she would be a litigator or prosecutor when she grew up… She'd pretty much backed Raylan into a corner I was pretty sure he didn't mind being in. His shoulders caved and he looked back at me defeated. I thought he'd probably give her anything to keep her from crying. So much for the big tough Marshal, falls weak-kneed to a little girl's tears.

I laughed softly and walked towards where he sat on the bed taking off his boots. I ran my fingers through his soft hair and leaned over to kiss him softly. I slowly moved my lips to his ear and whispered, "Just for the record Marshal, it wasn't me who got you into my bed…"

He chuckled happily and climbed into the bed beside where Natalie waited and I climbed in on the other side of her. We lay there holding hands across her body watching as she fell asleep. I drifted asleep soon after as did Raylan.

It was late the next morning when we all woke up from a dreamless, restful sleep. The first for us all in a long time.

_Silly girl, happily ever afters are for fairy tales..._

FIN

Please! Readers please review! Just press that button. And those who haven't caught TO in Justified, check it out on Tuesday nights on FX. He is easy on the eyes and the show is really good too!


End file.
